Kumar Patel: [after getting through checkpoint] Holy fucking shit that was awesome!

Neil Patrick Harris: Try having that conversation on shrooms. I deserve an Oscar for that performance! Harold Lee: You do!

Neil Patrick Harris: Dudes, I'm going to take a little detour on the way, alright?

Harold Lee: No, Neil, no. We're almost there, man.

Neil Patrick Harris: No buts! No buts! I'm going to a whorehouse and I'm gonna get my fuck on! If you two don't want to get your dicks wet, that's fine with me!